Swine flu panic? Don’t, OK? There’s no need…

According to health secretary Andy Burnham, today, the health service is crumbling under the pressure of people panicking about the swine flu. Really? Well he shouldn’t be too bloody surprised, considering the torrent of bullshit that’s flowed from government sources of late.

From 650,000 deaths forecast – and without the slightest evidence to support the prediction – to the advice that pregnant women were probably doomed, we’ve been force-fed the ingredients of panic for weeks, and the problem is amplified by the fact that most people are (a), abysmally ignorant and (b), believe what they read in that scurrilous rag, the Daily Mail.

It’s all very simple – for most of you it’s a mild form of flu and you have nothing at all to worry about so, FFS, stop running around like headless chickens, or trying to blag Tamiflu from the flu help-line or website. In  my view, anyone who does that, and doesn’t have flu, should be jailed.

And I mean that. For every one of you who is perfectly well, yet fraudulently claiming Tamiflu just in case, someone with a serious health problem already may well die for the lack of the drug, you unspeakably selfish, subhuman, witless, bastards.

For most people the infection is mild, and the only ones who need to worry are those, like me, with a pre-existing condition, especially respiratory illnesses, as I’ve said. And not least because some fucker has swiped the Tamiflu!

And by the way, Tamiflu isn’t the panacea that most people seem to think it is. Tamiflu will ease the symptoms a little, and may reduce the course of the flu by a day. Er, that’s it. It is not a cure. OK, it doesn’t do much, then, but even that little may be critical for someone like me.

There is, according to my GP, who told me this a few weeks ago, when I got him out because I felt like shit and had a temp of 103F, there is one certain marker for this form of flu – a temperature of 106F or more.

So if you don’t have one, buy a clinical thermometer – every chemist/pharmacist in the multiverse sells them – and learn how to use the bloody thing! The most reliable method is to tuck it into your armpit for 4-5  minutes. This is because people can be dumb, and are likely to put it in their mouth after a hot – or cold – drink, or while smoking, and get a wildly inaccurate reading. And please, buy a mercury thermometer. Not only will it last you for many years, it’s more accurate. Just remember to shake the mercury down before each use.

To be honest, I was reluctant to post that information, as dishonest pricks can use it to try to get Tamiflu when they don’t need it, but it’s not exactly a secret and if it stops just some people hassling the health service, it’s worth it.

No matter that you might have a head full of snot, and feel like crap, if you don’t have that temperature, it’s just a summer cold – you do not have flu.

One final thought. I’ve covered flu and COPD in depth, but I have no idea how it will affect people with ME/CFS. Logically, there should be no risk, other than an almost inevitable relapse afterwards, as with normal flu.