Witless buggers at the DVLA…

When I bought my Class 3 scooter I duly registered at the DVLA – a truly pointless exercise, but required by law.

Today, despite the impossibility of confusing my scooter, a Sterling Diamond, with any other scooter in the Sterling range – they all have very different names, mostly gemstones – the DVLA has decided that I misinformed them, and it’s really a Class 2 machine.

Do they either think I’m so bloody stupid I can’t tell the difference between 8 and 4 mph, or that I can’t, perhaps, read? Or that I would go through the hassle of registering the buggerdly thing if I didn’t have to?

This is my reply (sender’s name deleted just in case using initiative isn’t allowed at the DVLA):-




January 13 2012


Dear Sirs,

Vehicle Reg. No. DK10 AHE

With reference to your letter of January 6 (received only today, so I hope you have not closed down my record as you said you would), be advised that you are wrong in your assertion that my mobility scooter is actually Class 2. A quick look at the Sunrise Medical, or the manufacturer’s,  website, would have verified that, taken a couple of minutes, and cost nothing – but no, either the DVLA discourages such initiative or you would far rather incur costs and hassle me than do something sensible and free. and taking far less time than typing the letter (or dictating it and having it typed).

My Sterling Diamond is now, always has been, and always will be, Class 3 – 8mph. I have no idea where you got the information that it is Class 2, not least because a Class 2 version does not exist. They do not make any other version of this machine but the Class 3, so there is not the slightest scope for confusion.

I cannot sign and return the declaration in your letter, as I am currently seriously ill and housebound, nor do I have the slightest intention of printing the 40 page manual for you as requested, even if the ensuing sheaf of A4 would fit your envelope. Might I suggest simply asking for the relevant page(s) in future? After all, you do not need the entire manual.

I have, though, included the data page, with the information you require, and which bears a picture of the scooter but no name, so I have also included the title page, with picture and name, for the purposes of verification. Should you still require a full copy of the manual, you can get it here:  http://www.sunrisedice.com/asset-bank/assetfile/6700.pdf

And please clean your printer – sending out letters with black roller marks down one side is remarkably discourteous.

My apologies if I seem a little angry – utter pointlessness has that effect.

Yours faithfully,

Ronald W. Graves.


4 thoughts on “Witless buggers at the DVLA…

  1. Hi Ron,

    That is a wonderful reply! I wish I could write letters and emails this well when people treat me unprofessionally.

    Hope the DVLA sort themselves out and stop bugging you,


    • Ah – it all started in school, with what might have been the world’s best English teacher. And I’ve been writing on and off since I was 19, plus a huge amount of work-related correspondence.

      I started writing seriously in 2004, when I wrote a column for the ME Association, which quickly spawned a website, and my first blog in 2006. This blog goes back to 2008, though some early material goes back to a previous version in 2007. And it’s a fact that the more you write, the better you get – reading a lot helps, too.

      So, why don’t you start a blog? From what I’ve seen you write better than many bloggers, which is a good start. I’d suggest Tumblr. I think WordPress is better, and more versatile, but Tumblr ( https://www.tumblr.com/ ) seems to be a much simpler platform that I think you’ll get on better with. Depends how long you’ve been online, I suppose – about 16 years in my case – but I know some newbies who’ve found WP hard to get on with as it does assume a fair bit of knowledge on the part of the user, Tumblr not so much from what I’ve heard. On the other hand, if you go with WP, I could help out if you have problems ( http://wordpress.com/ ).

      And that’s all I can remember – there was a lot more, but it’s gone.


  2. Try blueberry juice Ron, I’ve read somewhere that taken on a regular basis it helps reconnect the pathways.
    Ralph H

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