Blue Badge Buggeration . . .

Don’t you just love witlessly crap civil servants? DirectGov has an online application for Blue Badges, and it beggars belief.

Apparently, if I apply online I have to provide one of the following, in the form of a “certified photocopy” whatever the hell one of those is. Certified by whom? A notary? (Where do I find one?) The Vicar? (I’m an atheist) Some bloke in the pub? (Works for me!) Buggered if I know, because – just a minor detail – they don’t fucking say! And at this point it fails, dismally, to be an online application, as it can’t be completed if I have to provide further documentation.

The thing is, I have none of those. I had to give up driving some years ago, so surrendered my licence; all but the first two are irrelevant to me anyway, as my birth certificate, and marriage and divorce certificates, along with half a lifetime of paper, were destroyed when the stupid bitch in the flat above me ran a bath, fell asleep pissed, and forgot about it, flooding my flat, wrecking my desk and everything in it, among much else.

But the thing is, I shouldn’t have to prove my identity to my local authority – the buggers know me. I’ve lived in the borough since 1985, got married and subsequently divorced here, lived at this address for almost 16 years, and been in receipt of CT and HB benefits since 1986. I’ve had a Blue Badge most of that time too. Yet now I have to prove I am who I say I am? Screw that – those buggers have more paper proving who I am than I’ve ever had!

And I still don’t know what a certified photocopy is, or, if it comes to that, what the point of an online application process is if it can’t be completed online!


6 thoughts on “Blue Badge Buggeration . . .

    • Thanks, Leigh – but just proves my point that as an online application, it’s a farce! Plus, of course, I don’t have any of the docs they want anyway. And if I did, the PO is inaccessible – you can get in by wheelchair, but when people come in behind you, they block the very narrow access, the only way out being if they all went back out into the street. Seriously! Think I’ll just carry on using my out of date badge – it’s only for Sainsbury’s anyway and as long as they see a badge they lose interest.

  1. I had the same requirement, although passport was one of the options, which I have, when I filled in forms for Council Tax Benefit. Either I had to send originals to them in the mail (not bloody likely) or take the ID and myself off to the local council offices for them to certify there.

    • For some reason, the online process has hooked me up with a council office about 5 miles away, while the main office is less than a mile. My easiest option is download a form, print my own pics, and take everything thing down there – which is what I’ve always done, though it’s easier with a car.

      Until my birth certificate comes – about three weeks for some reason – plus time in the post, a trip through Photoshop will make my old badge legal enough for Sainsbury’s, and that’s all I need it for.

  2. went through these hoops when applying for a Hackney Licence from Mendip District Council which shares a desk at the local library: the council person in attendance was authorised to accept all the identities that were required. Deeply ironic in that the council know full well who I am. In the event, I produced at least for forms of identity but the really annoying thing was that they still insisted an a utilities bill. Much satisfaction a few weeks later when I proffered said badge as poi, firmly asking the reequestor who at first attempted to say that the Hackney badge was inadequate until I calmly iterated all the ID checking that had to be produced. She desisted but perhaps not because she was won by my arguments but more by the fact that everyone knows not to mess with taxi-drivers.
    Perhaps one day local government will catch up with central government who accepted my ID on-line in the course of completing my tax return and renewing my passport and driving licence.

    • Hmm … When I submitted an FoI request to get my hospital records last year, I had to submit some form of photo ID – which I did. I didn’t have the heart to ask, since I was doing this by post and they thus couldn’t match the photo to me, what good it was going to do them.

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