Do you know any #spoonies, and do you understand them?

The answer to the second part, based on experience, and on what others have said, is almost certainly no. But why should that be? It’s not hard to understand with just a little effort.

For example, there are days, more of them of late, when I feel too ill to talk to anybody, either face to face or on the telephone. A combination of pain, nausea, feeling faint, plain, old-fashioned exhaustion, brainfog, and a modicum of fear – and that’s a good day – obliterates any desire I might have to interact with anyone directly.

This is not uncommon among us spoonies, as a phone call, for example, makes far greater demands on our energy and concentration than, say, writing a blog post – which can take all day if it has to – or talking to people on twitter, or, perhaps, just tossing tweets out into the Twitterverse to make their own way, or even answering email.

The thing about all those activities, even though they mean interacting with other people, is that they can be dealt with in our own time, at our own pace, and they are small, finite, events – in ways that a conversation, or a phone call, is not and can never be. Aphasia, for those of us who suffer from it, doesn’t help either – today’s lost word, so far, anyway, is melatonin, I know that because I’ve just had to go and read the label for a tweet I was writing.

And the problem is that people who are not spoonies find this impossible to comprehend – or simply don’t care. Hard to tell…

So if you know people like this, who don’t phone you, or take your calls, we’re not avoiding you – well OK, we are, but it’s not personal – we’re just trying to cope with shit that the able-bodied can barely begin to imagine, in the best way we can.

So give us a break… OK?


4 thoughts on “Do you know any #spoonies, and do you understand them?

    • I think the Spoon Theory is inspired, but it’s still hard for the non-disabled to grasp the minutiae of the problem (it’s much more than just exhaustion), and I’m hoping that this, in some small way, expands on that, and explains why we can do some things, but not others.

  1. Yep, you nailed it. I have been that way for years, and people just don’t get it. With the exception of close friends, I DO NOT DO PHONE CALLS. Well, rarely anyway, it’s got to be pretty damned important. I’d also like to add that your point naturally extrapolates to actual ‘face to face’ interaction with people. That, I find is almost always extremely draining, and to do it all day, every day, like I used to, would just completely fry me beyond repair, within a matter of minutes. Really. Good post!

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