The moronic Three saga gains extra levels of stupidity…

I’ve just had a letter from Three. In it they refer repeatedly to “my modem” – I didn’t order a modem, I ordered an iPad 3 with a mobile broadband account – no modems were involved (it uses a SIM card, like a mobile phone).

It appears, now, that their courier, DPD, delivered it not to me, but to some bastard called Murray who has apparently stolen it. Whether he lives in this building I have no idea – there are a lot of new people I don’t know. Here’s the DPD website:-

No indication of an address, as you can see, and as I’m not the account holder, I can’t get any further into their system.

Then, the idiot Three staffer suggests I “get with this person and collect your modem back.”

Two problems there – it’s not a modem, so I can’t even be certain the Three numpty is actually referring to my order, and it’s not mine anyway. It wasn’t delivered to me therefore the responsibility for it is Three’s.

Two criminal offences have been committed, theft of property (from Three), and fraud (Three again), neither of which is anything to do with me.  Plus I have no bloody idea who the hell “Murray” is, nor can I easily find out, as the scheme manager is on holiday (it could be a first or last name, or totally false which, as they’ve apparently stolen Three’s iPad, would be my guess).

There’s a mystery too – I know DPD’s drivers, as I shop exclusively online, so they’re here quite a bit. Not only do they know what I look like, it is entirely improper, in the event that they have a new driver who doesn’t know me, to deliver it to someone else without first trying to deliver it to me. And they didn’t.

Then there’s the point that Three have totally ignored all my correspondence – faxed letters and online forms – for a month. During that time there has been activity on “my” account while I’ve been yelling at them that I cancelled my order and don’t have an account – why didn’t that ring alarm bells very much sooner?

In fact, when I emailed my cancellation on August 16, 6 hours after the package was ostensibly delivered, why didn’t they ask for it back? I had a legal right to cancel under the Distance Selling Regulations, so the first thing they should have done was ask me to return it. They didn’t.

I have no idea, either, whether they even sent it to my address. No matter that you have to give your address online, despatch departments often ignore it and use the Royal Mail database for label printing, and my address has a major error – it omits the building in which I live – despite repeated attempts to correct it. So, really, my parcel could have gone anywhere.

All I know for sure is that Three still owe me £99, and I’ve given them until close of business Monday to sort this mess out and refund the money, as they’ve wasted far too much time doing bugger all.

So bear in mind, folks, that even when something goes wrong that is not remotely your fault, Three will still try to saddle you with the responsibility and fuck up your life in the process – and hang on to money to which they are not entitled.

11 thoughts on “The moronic Three saga gains extra levels of stupidity…

  1. A couple of years ago my 3 mobile broadband dongle simply stopped working. I took it straight to the 3 shop and explained the problem. They seemed helpful at the time and said they would send it off for service. They then notified me that it could not be repaired and that it was down to user error/misuse. WTF? It was plugged into a usb port and STAYED there! I then received a letter stating that if I wish the faulty item returned I could do so if I sent them £20! That is what the damn thing cost in the first place. When I returned to the shop with this unbelievable piece of correspondence, I was told “well, you’ll just have to buy another one.” Jesus! Like an idiot, and desperately needing to be online as I was applying for jobs, I bought another one. At a cost of £20. The other providers at the time cost more and didn’t have plans (data) worth a shit anyway. The only thing that could have rounded out your post/situation is if the delivery company was Yodel! ; )

    • I’m just waiting for a letter telling me it’s my responsibility!

      Stupidity is catching. All my complaints to Three have gone to Glasgow, I assumed, as that’s the only address I have, but just realised that the letter came from Maidenhead. Pity I replied to Glasgow then!

      Fixed now, and sent to Maidenhead with extra added snottiness.

      For a month there’s been activity on the Three account, while I’ve been yelling at them that I’ve cancelled. Not once did it occur to someone there to ask me what was going on.

    • Got that, ta – bottom line – there’s an 8-week period before you can take it to the ombudsman and then, it seems, only if Three agree there’s an impasse.

  2. have never known that a company has to agree that theres an impasse or anything else. the reason ppl GO to an ombudsman is because firms DONT agree or DONT reply to you etc. or do/dont do something they should/shouldnt do.
    have you actually rung the ombudsman for info on this or advice? if not do so. or go to consumer direct
    hmm just looked..looks like C.A.B now run it……… didnt realise that even though i used it myself last year on behalf of my son and the previous year for myself.
    heres the details with number and links……..

    consumer direct

    Welcome to our consumer information pages. These provide summaries of advice that should appear in a more detailed format on your local trading standards service’s website. To find your local service use the postcode search at the bottom of the page.

    For personal help with a problem within the UK you can contact the Citizens Advice consumer service, which provides free, confidential and impartial advice on consumer issues. Visit or call the Citizens Advice consumer helpline on 08454 04 05 06.

    If you are a UK consumer having a problem with a trader based in a different European country then there is a special service offering advice and support, the UK European Consumer Centre (UK ECC) which is hosted by the Trading Standards Institute.

    For general advice please visit the UK ECC online shopping assistant Howard.
    hope this helps

    • Thanks Dee,

      Unfortunately, Consumer Direct were established to prevent people going directly to Trading Standards. If you can’t get past them, you can’t talk to TS.

      • i know i got my sons prob sorted without trying to go to ts. as for mine there was nothing could be done as the person (firm) i bought from were in china and only used the english address as a postal one it turned out. very clever and they were untraceable.

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