I’ve just had a letter from Three. In it they refer repeatedly to “my modem” – I didn’t order a modem, I ordered an iPad 3 with a mobile broadband account – no modems were involved (it uses a SIM card, like a mobile phone).
It appears, now, that their courier, DPD, delivered it not to me, but to some bastard called Murray who has apparently stolen it. Whether he lives in this building I have no idea – there are a lot of new people I don’t know. Here’s the DPD website:-
No indication of an address, as you can see, and as I’m not the account holder, I can’t get any further into their system.
Then, the idiot Three staffer suggests I “get with this person and collect your modem back.”
Two problems there – it’s not a modem, so I can’t even be certain the Three numpty is actually referring to my order, and it’s not mine anyway. It wasn’t delivered to me therefore the responsibility for it is Three’s.
Two criminal offences have been committed, theft of property (from Three), and fraud (Three again), neither of which is anything to do with me. Plus I have no bloody idea who the hell “Murray” is, nor can I easily find out, as the scheme manager is on holiday (it could be a first or last name, or totally false which, as they’ve apparently stolen Three’s iPad, would be my guess).
There’s a mystery too – I know DPD’s drivers, as I shop exclusively online, so they’re here quite a bit. Not only do they know what I look like, it is entirely improper, in the event that they have a new driver who doesn’t know me, to deliver it to someone else without first trying to deliver it to me. And they didn’t.
Then there’s the point that Three have totally ignored all my correspondence – faxed letters and online forms – for a month. During that time there has been activity on “my” account while I’ve been yelling at them that I cancelled my order and don’t have an account – why didn’t that ring alarm bells very much sooner?
In fact, when I emailed my cancellation on August 16, 6 hours after the package was ostensibly delivered, why didn’t they ask for it back? I had a legal right to cancel under the Distance Selling Regulations, so the first thing they should have done was ask me to return it. They didn’t.
I have no idea, either, whether they even sent it to my address. No matter that you have to give your address online, despatch departments often ignore it and use the Royal Mail database for label printing, and my address has a major error – it omits the building in which I live – despite repeated attempts to correct it. So, really, my parcel could have gone anywhere.
All I know for sure is that Three still owe me £99, and I’ve given them until close of business Monday to sort this mess out and refund the money, as they’ve wasted far too much time doing bugger all.
So bear in mind, folks, that even when something goes wrong that is not remotely your fault, Three will still try to saddle you with the responsibility and fuck up your life in the process – and hang on to money to which they are not entitled.