Apologies for the lack of quality output for a while. I can see from my blog’s stats that my lack of output is damaging it, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to explain what’s going on.
Since getting out of hospital, the bilateral lymphoedema** which has plagued me for the past two years has become seriously infected (cellulitis, possibly) and, so far, is resistant to treatment.
**Caused by my failing heart, which APH is still trying to deny, even though it was diagnosed there in 2011.
What’s cramping my style is the pain, which on a scale of 1 to 10 is a solid 10, and there is no position in which I can sit or lie which provides any relief. The pain, at its most extreme can, without warning, come roaring up my legs as if I’d just stuck them in a blast furnace – there is no way to resist screaming at that point. God knows what my neighbours must think but, frankly, I’m past caring.
I’m also, to a large extent, past thinking rationally, which is why I’m not writing much of any consequence. I should have turned out a couple of thousand foodie words today. In the event it was just 35.
Just two thoughts dominate – if this keeps up I really can’t live with it, and if I could have my legs amputated at the knees I’d jump at the chance. Enough is enough – there’s no virtue in suffering.
Do I have any analgesia, I hear someone ask? Yes, indeed, I have Tramadol, 100mg every 6 hours, and Paracetamol which, for my normal pain are just fine – do nothing for my legs though. Or perhaps they do, and without them I’d be even worse? Not something I want to contemplate.
The infection, of course, is affecting my whole system, so as well as the unremitting pain, I feel like hammered shit. I do have an antibiotic, plus an anti-fungal drug – I might as well be taking Smarties for all the effect they’re having.
While in hospital, we had a guy on the bay who spent his time, talking to his pain and berating it. I have, it grieves me to say, become that guy. It doesn’t help.
The district nurses are changing my dressings twice a day, though the main result is more pain.
Oh yes, and my legs stink. Even through the dressings.