I don’t bother with New Year’s resolutions – they’re pointless. One either has the willpower to make necessary changes in one’s life, or not. A resolution won’t change that. All it’ll do is guilt-trip you when you fail. Miserably. Yet again.
This year I am making an exception – and a few resolutions.
1. My GP will get off his lazy arse, and attend when I ask for a home visit. I don’t do that for fun, I do it because I’m ill and housebound. If I get one phone call instead of a visit (I’m just five minutes away from the surgery!), I’m reporting him.
2. Twitter – anyone posting or retweeting offensive tweets will be blocked. I don’t do it, you don’t do it via my timeline.
3. As will anyone filling my timeline with adverts, unintelligible tweets, drivel, mutilated animal photos (enough ffs – have you never heard of overkill?), football results or only endless retweets (write something original** ffs) , will be consigned to oblivion (i.e. blocked).
**I know some of you are too ill to do that – it’s not you I have in mind.
4. Likewise authors whom I follow/follow me who turn my timeline into a branch of Amazon.
5. And also people of a religious or political persuasion who treat my timeline as a platform are similarly doomed.
I realise that all this will damage my Twitter stats, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay to improve the quality of my Twitter experience, considering how much time I spend on there.
6. My blog: Being in hospital so much (10 weeks in total – and yes I know, compared to some of my tweeps, I’m still an amateur!), and, subsequently, being mostly too ill to write cost me over 30,000 page views this year compared to last. Doubtless I lost a few regular readers too. I have to reverse that, and more, in 2014, if I can. Of course it’s entirely possible, in fact quite likely, that hospital will feature next year too. Unfortunately, it’s something over which I have no control.
I would take my laptop in with me, but I already have a lot to transport on a manual wheelchair without the added burden of a lappie. Plus if I have to leave my bed, for tests or whatever, all my electronics can be slipped into a small manbag (I know someone who is mortified by the idea of a manbag, yet is happy to tote a manky old Sainsbury’s plastic carrier bag – go figure), and taken with me, a course of action strongly recommended by a porter during my first stay in 2013, in April, and followed ever since.
So that’s it. I’m confident of them all except the last, as there is so much there outside of (or perhaps, as NYE is almost a Scottish festival, that should be outwith), my control, as I said. We’ll see.