One drink I had last night – one goddamned drink – and it screwed me up, big-time.
And not even a decent drink. A shot of brandy diluted heavily with Vimto and water as I can’t take spirits neat these days and, anyway, I’m not supposed to drink because of all my drugs. Not stopped me in the past, but it does now I’m getting old, not least because I’d rather like to get older.
The result was a sleepless night with vicious heartburn, culminating about 04.00 in massive acid reflux that, though awake, I had no chance of keeping out of my lungs – I was simply overwhelmed.** I sleep sitting up, partly because I can’t breathe lying down, and partly to prevent events like this. It didn’t.
**If the reflux happens on the exhale, I can huff it out of my windpipe, if on the inhale, as last night, there’s nothing I can do, and I’m doomed
In consequence, for most of the day so far I’ve been coughing up a lot of blood, which has only now fizzled out.
One day, the acid is going to eat into a major vein, or an artery – and it’ll kill me before I can hit the alarm button.
A Happy New Year? Not really…
But, on a more upbeat note, veggiedom appears to be sneaking up on me… A change from me sneaking up on it.
And no, this isn’t a NY resolution, in any way!
I seem to be developing an aversion to meat, and drifting towards veggiedom, with added fish. And yes, I know veggies don’t eat fish!
This isn’t happening consciously – just happening of itself.
Thing is, if I try to deliberately revert to vegetarianism – I was a veggie for some 20-odd years – it never works out, but even my game pie filling, at Christmas was mostly fruit and vegetables – the meat content was just there in a supporting role (it would have been fine without it, replacing the meat with Quorn products as I suggested for the vegetarian version, so there does seem to be a subconscious urge in that direction. And, by the way, it tasted fantastic.
The question is, should I, can I, even, let this take its natural course and see what happens? Because, now that I’m on to it, its course is no longer natural, but me making conscious decisions.
Still, let’s see how it goes…