Fucked up to the absolute max!

Today I was given a new dressing for my ulcer. I was assured that it would cool and soothe it, and help it heal – the reality had been 14 hours of unadulterated agony. I daren’t change it for fear of making it even worse. The pain, previously localised to the ulcer and surrounding tissue now extends from my toes to my hip.

So, an appeal. If anyone in my position (bilateral lymphoedema, & a leg ulcer the size of my hand), knows of a surgeon in Wirral who might be willing to amputate, please – let me know.

That I might not survive the surgery is a given (Stage 3 COPD, heart failure, much else besides), but right now I don’t care. This has to end.


NB: Taking my leg below the knee will change little for me in terms of mobility – I already spend much of my time on wheels.


7 thoughts on “Fucked up to the absolute max!

  1. Dear Ron
    Nothing I say can help you, I know, but I hope you have upped the pain relief, and that the pain may be easing by now.
    Keep fighting.
    May you get some sleep tonight……

    Thinking of you – one of the bravest people I know of.


    • Thanks Pat.

      Slept better than I expected – keeping still in bed helped. Morphine caps, unfortunately, did nothing. Might as well have taken Smarties. A large dose of Oramorph – 30ml or 40ml – might have helped but as I’m still not 100% sure whether or not it contributes to the frequent pulmonary oedema attacks I can’t risk it. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t – I’ve taken 20ml and 30ml without any problems – but I need to be certain as P.O. could so easily kill me.

  2. dont yu have access to a district nurse team you can call on Ron? i do. for instance if i catch myself in a place i cant see,(often back of one arm or the other)and get the usual 2 corner tear that bleeds all over the place but i cant see qwhere it is .just have to get gauze n hold it there . i just have to ring them n theyll come and put me a dressing on.which i keep here.usually inodine or Kaltostat and mepore… then come the following couple o days till it scabs over properly n can be left til someone comes ..i.e. daughter, son. sister etc. even if only daughter comes up she can sort it..and can change it for me. though once it stops bleeding i can usually cope within reason.you can guarantee ill do it when no ones expected.and daughter/son doesnt have a car or access to one.

      • sorry, yes i knew you had them come several days a week. perhaps i worded it wrong. i meant, can you not phone them and tell them that your having this reaction to the dressing and you need them to come and sort it???

        • No point, really. There’s nothing they can do that I can’t do faster, and probably better. And, more importantly, without causing me even more pain.

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