My New Crutches Are Space Hogs…

No, not interstellar pigs but masters of clutter, as their design means they take up much more floor space than the old ones and, if I prop them upright, they’re top heavy and tend to fall at the slightest provocation – not good if they fall on my legs. So, what to do?

Having thought about it pretty much since the first week I had them, the answer, when it finally popped into my head, was blindingly obvious – an umbrella stand.

Of course, modern ones seem to be made of very lightweight materials, metal mesh being very popular, and old-style cast iron or ceramic models are prohibitively expensive. I do have some circular cast-iron weights, though, and plonking one or two in the bottom would provide sufficient ballast to keep the thing from falling over so, off to Amazon to see what they’ve got.

I want something fairly basic – just an open-topped cylinder, some of which are dangerously close to £200 which, frankly, is lunacy, especially when prices start at around a tenner. Height is fairly critical, as is the fact that the rim of the thing should not damage the crutches. Anyway, I opted for this one. The rim is polished stainless steel, which should be fine.

What I found, throughout, was that Amazon’s descriptions were mostly unhelpful, and often complete garbage, clearly referring to something entirely different.** So this thing is possibly 60cm tall. Or not! Either way, a couple of kilos of iron in the bottom should fix any tendency to fall over, and given its intended location it will fit in with my electronics which are universally black except for my UPS unit, which is old-school beige! It’s so last century. Winking smile 

I should have it tomorrow.

**Amazon does have a feedback applet, which is useless as it simply offers a selection of ways in which the image might be wrong or inappropriate in some way. There is no “This is bollocks, you buggers are in the wrong job!” option, or a box in which to type one’s own.

I accept that, in an operation on Amazon’s scale, errors can creep in, but there are simply far too many to overlook, especially when money is at stake.